Friday, May 29, 2009

An Open Letter to Miller Lite

Seriously? Now why would you want to go down this road, Mr. Lite? You already changed the spelling of a word to fit a marketing scheme, which may systematically be changing the spelling habits of BMCers across the nation. Why, oh why did you have to jump on the "we have hops in our beer" bandwagon (see also Sam Adams and Budweiser). Not only that, but you make up some more crazy terminology - triple hops brewing. Oh, say it ain't so, SABMiller!

You see, Miller Lite, you had me at hello. Of course, I'd rather drink a nice septuple-hopped Double IPA, but if I were to grab an American Macro Light Lager, I need my "-I-T-E". You have that market cornered! You're the commissioner of the More Taste League. It's true, you do have more taste than all the other BMC Lights, which is why I'm a fan, but I have to say, this "triple hops brewed" BS-erie is causing my inner Beer Geek to react like I just heard the proverbial "Brown Note".

Here's an idea, stick to what you're good at. Show us well-endowed females being all too attentive to overweight, balding men watching whatever sport is in season. It's worked so far. Be what you are - a mass-produced, fizzy, yellow, water-like substance that college-age frat guys and mid 30's execs like one in the same. Don't try to infringe on the Craft Brew movement. That's not what you are. You are my college beer. You are my $1.00 pint beer on game days. You are my substitute for water when I have none. Be all of these things, and do them the best that you can. It's better off that way. Trust me, the universe will thank you.

If you haven't yet see this commercial, you can get the gist of it at their website.

*End Rant*

And in one post, I have officially become a beer snob.




Snoop59 said...

Good to have you back !

Jon (aka santoslhalper) said...

At Earth we're going to make a brown ale that will be marketed as single hops brewed. We can't do this crazy fancy triple hop brewing that big guys do. Our equipment can't handle the utter awesomeness of triple hopping.

The Bearded Brewer said...

I've been thinking about a similar post while I watched the NBA playoffs and was bombarded by Macro beer ads. I can't decide which is more misleading/insignificant to the ley person... Coors Frost Brewed (explain that one to me??) or Triple Hopped. I actually had someone ask me if that was special, a three hopped beer.

Anonymous said...

I thought they meant that they used 3 whole hop cones. I've been home brewing since 1990, and I've found it difficult to recreate Miller Lite. I was going about all wrong. I only needed 3 hop cones.